Today there was an article in the New York Times about how self-compassion-–forgiving your own flaws or bad habits-–is conducive to good health. It lines up with something I’ve observed for a while now: friends are more forgiving of each other than they are of themselves.
“Do you hate anybody else for their body as much as you hate yourself?” I asked a body-loathing friend a few months ago.
“No,” my friend said, “but other people are shallow.”
Most of my friends, in some way, believe that one of their flaws is ruinous to their likability or capacity for happiness. But we don’t believe that of each other. We might have a greater sense of proportion when observing each others’ lives–or we might be prone to ignoring flaws that, because they are not our own, are not as pressing.
Either way, here is a selection from the article/it’s really a blog but who cares:
“Imagine your reaction to a child struggling in school or eating too much junk food. Many parents would offer support, like tutoring or making an effort to find healthful foods the child will enjoy. But when adults find themselves in a similar situation — struggling at work, or overeating and gaining weight — many fall into a cycle of self-criticism and negativity. That leaves them feeling even less motivated to change.‘Self-compassion is really conducive to motivation,’ Dr. Neff said. ‘The reason you don’t let your children eat five big tubs of ice cream is because you care about them. With self-compassion, if you care about yourself, you do what’s healthy for you rather than what’s harmful to you.’”
Reblogging for WISDOM
